Everyday Challenges Facing Local Muslim Women

Musharat Nara-Khan shares her story:

‘I was born in Northern Ireland. I was brought up in Northern  Ireland. This is home for me.

Sometimes I'm walking along and somebody shouts, ‘Paki! Go home!’ and I think, ‘This is home! Where do you want me to go? I am home!’

Anybody settling into Northern Ireland, from wherever they've come from, this is their home too.

'I’ve two young children and they are oblivious to it, but just going to the park they hear other children say, ‘Don't play with them. They're funny. They're different.’ You want to protect your kids but you know they're going to grow up and be exposed to this. It's hard because they're only kids and they want to play, and why shouldn't they play with children from all ethnic backgrounds? I think schools need a lot more work. Those young children are only saying this because they haven't met my kids before and they're not mixing. 

We need more integration and education in schools because once you explain something to children they become more mindful, more open and inclusive.

My daughter is six years old and she's a very confident little  girl but she comes home and says, ‘Mummy, I want to be peach.’ I ask why, and she says, ‘Because everybody else is peach.’ I  just say that I'm not peach and I put my arm up against hers  and explain that this person's not peach and that person's not peach. I explain we can all be different colours but that doesn't mean that we are different people. 

As a family we went to Portrush and we stopped off at the Rope  Bridge for a picnic. It was four or five families and the kids were all playing when a group of young people pulled up in a car with the slur, ‘What are the Pakis doing? Oh look, it's the Pakis day out!’ Our children were small but we had older children who were 14 and 15, very impressionable and very self-conscious. It's okay for me. I've grown up with it and I’ve got a thick skin, but you could almost see them withdrawing into themselves. As a parent you want to protect your children and you want them to grow up in Northern  Ireland. It’s a beautiful place and most of the time it's welcoming, but you do get that and it can be hurtful. 

If I wear a pair of jeans, I feel so out of place, whereas when I wear my traditional clothes I feel comfortable to do anything. After that incident, it made me wonder if I need to dress it down or tone the colours down, to blend in so I don't stand out and get the ‘Paki go home!’ kind of thing. When we go somewhere in traditional clothing and headscarf, and you first begin to speak, people have this lovely little expression on their face and it makes me laugh, because I know  they're thinking, ‘I didn't expect her to sound like that!’

I work as a nurse in the hospital and because of my accent  I'm very much accepted, but the odd time people say, 'You  don't belong here' or 'I don't want her coming towards me.’ When they hear me talking they think I'm a local person but I’ve seen it with other colleagues and it’s sad because those staff members are in the job because they want to help and support people. The NHS has been very supportive. There's a lot of individual support for staff members who might be struggling, which I think is good. I don't know if I would have seen that ten years ago.

The Inter Ethnic Forum has really helped and supported us to  become more confident and open, and if we're having any issues, we can come and speak to them and try to find a way forward. It has definitely empowered women and young women  with families. They put on a lot of courses and events. It’s not just about trying to get employment, it's about meeting up together and finding friends. It’s helped us to become more  independent and integrated.  

‍